he wants to bone in the snuggie
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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