my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
