Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
These tits shall not be calmed
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