apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
