I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
