We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
