hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
