Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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