I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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