hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
