he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize
