Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
