roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
