He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
