I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
