bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
It was confusing and full of hummus
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
