I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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