Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
