Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
