john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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