True but thats because hes a fetus.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
