how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
