he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
You are a genius and a whore.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
