i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I look better un-naked...
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
