Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
