No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Randomize
