The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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