So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
