it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
