She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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