Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
