I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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