1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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