i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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