I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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