talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Dicks are not precious.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
