I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Randomize
