im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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