so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I'm always down for nudity.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
