I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Randomize
