we have officially mastered the walk of shame
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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