her vagine was all disorganized.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
