ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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