I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
