Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
