So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I'm getting married
To pizza
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Randomize
