I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i was born a porn star she said
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
