fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I cut my penus on the lid.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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