the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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