I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
